What NFL team names would changed if tree huggers ran the leagues?Trying to maintain order during a legalized gang brawl involving 80 toughs with a little whistle, a hanky and a ton of prayer. - Anonymous Referee, explaining his job
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If Tree Huggers Ran the NFL

What NFL team names would changed if tree huggers ran the leagues?

Well, now, the NFL is not exactly the organization you would expect tree huggers to flock to. But let's just, for the sake of argument, say they did. What would they do with all those politically incorrect, environmentally unfriendly names? Let's see if we can guess.

 

The Tree Hugger's Guide to the NFL

  1. Denver Horses Ridden Abusively By Humans

  2. Chicago Endangered Grizzly Bears

  3. Washington Native Americans

  4. Kansas City Native American Leaders

  5. Minnesota Fur-and-Horn-Wearing Pillagers

  6. Pittsburgh Coal-Burning Smog-Generating Steelers

  7. Los Angeles Waterborne Murder-Thief-Rapists

  8. Tampa Bay Waterborne Murder-Thief-Rapists

  9. Miami Noble, Intelligent, and Wise Dolphins

  10. Houston Oil-Spilling Well-Drilling Natural Resource Wasters

  11. Green Bay Packers of Dead Abused Animal Flesh

  12. Dallas Cattle Murderers and Native American Exploiters

  13. New England White Male Gun-Carrying Tree-Chopping Imperialist Dogs

  14. New Orleans Sanctimonious Morals-Imposers

  15. Philadelphia Endangered Bald Eagles

  16. New York Vertically and Gravitationally Enhanced

  17. Los Angeles Sort Of Endangered Rams

  18. Cleveland Players of Color

  19. Atlanta Endangered Peregrine Falcons

  20. Phoenix Religious Hierarchy (don't let the bird fool you)

  21. San Diego Electricity Consumers

  22. Cincinnati Endangered Bengal Tigers

  23. San Francisco Gold Profiteers

  24. Buffalo Wild West Show Stars and Cattle Abusers

  25. Seattle Generic Sea Birds, Some Of Which Are Endangered

  26. New York Air-and-Noise-Polluting-Bird-Scaring Jets

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Tree Huggers Guide to the NFL

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