|A professional football team warms up grimly and disparately, like an army on maneuvers: the ground troops here, the tanks there, the artillery and air force over there. - Ted Solotaroff|
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Custom Football Zingers
Are you mad at a football team (or their fans)? Here's a way you can vent your frustrations. Just plug in the team name in the box, hit enter, and have at it.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The Seven Dwarfs were Hi-Hoeing, Hi-Hoeing, through the forest one day on the way to work when they all slipped and fell into a deep ravine. Show White was following behind them. She ran to the ravine, looked over the edge and called out to the Dwarfs to see if they were okay. The response was, "The ____________ are going to the Super Bowl!"
"Well," she thought, "at least Dopey survived."
After a long loosing season for the ____________, a fan was fed up. The thought of standing in line and fighting the crowds just to watch another defeat was not what he wanted to do. So his took his season ticket to the bus station and pinned it to the bulletin board for anyone who wanted it.
He was surprised the next day to see that his ticket had multiplied.
Questions and Answers
Q: What do you call 47 guys sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?
Q: If you pass a ____________ fan riding a bike on the road, why shouldn't you swerve to hit him?
Q: What will most ____________ players get on their Wonderlic test?
Q: What do you call a ____________ fan with half a brain?
Q: What do laxatives and ____________ fans have in common?
Q: Can you name one difference between a winning ____________ team and a UFO?
Q: If you are a ____________ fan, where would you go during a tornado warning?
Q: Do you know the difference between a ____________ fan and a chimp?
Q: Why did the ____________ team miss their flight for the big game?
Q: How do you knock out a drunk ____________ fan?
Q: You find yourself stuck in a room with a hungry lion, an angry grizzly bear and a ____________ fan. You've got a gun, but only two bullets. What should you do?
Q: What do you say to a ____________ fan with a job?
Q: Why are the ____________ like a possum?
Q: Why do ____________ players post their Wonderlic test scores on their dash boards?
____________ Season Schedule
These Rules Have Been Added Since Last Year
These Rules Have Not Changed Since Last Year
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