|Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it. - Luke Salisbury|
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Football Question and Answer Jokes
Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: What does the N stand for on the sides of the Nebraska football helmets?
Q: What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan?
Q: What do you call a Minnesota Viking with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.
Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A: "Give me my quarterback!"
Q: What's the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night
A: The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.
Q: Where do you go in Chicago in case of a tornado?
A: Soldier Field. They never get a touchdown there.
Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?
A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
Q: How many Bills does it take to change a flat?
A: Only one, unless it's a blowout -- then the whole team shows.
Q: Why are football stadiums always cool?
A: Because they're full of fans.
Q: What's the difference between the Green Bay Packers and Cheerios?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
Q: Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?
A: Out to pass-ture.
Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.
Q: Why do coaches like punters?
A: Because punters always put their best foot forward.
Q: What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 95?
A: Four guys watching a football game.
Q: What was Dallas's record in 1996?
A: 12 and 5, 12 arrests, 5 convictions.
Q: What do the Green Bay Packers and The Los Angeles Police Department
have in common?
A: Neither can stop a Bronco!
Q: What football player should you be suspicious of?
A: The quarterback sneak.
Q: Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?
A: The wide receiver.
Q: What do you call a lineman's kids?
A: Chips off the old blocker.
Q: How do you tear an American male away from his new date?
A: Turn on a football game on the TV.
Q: Who is Dallas's new defensive coordinator?
A: Johnny Cochran
Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car. Who's driving?
A: The police.
Q: Why does John Elway eat his cereal from a plate?
A: Because he's lost all three of his bowls.
Q: Which football team cooks gourmet meals together?
A: The Kansas City Chefs.
Q: Why are the Dallas Cowboys like Hillary Clinton?
A: Both have Bills to push around.
Q: Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
A: He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What's the difference between a Buffalo Bill and a dollar bill?
A: You can get four good quarters from a dollar bill
Q: What should you put in the end zone to keep the other team away?
A: A scorecrow.
Q: What does your teacher call if you run your sentences together and never use periods or commas?
A: Illegal use of ands.
Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
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