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Football Question and Answer Jokes

Here is some football humor in the form of questions and answers.


Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?

A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.


Q: What does the N stand for on the sides of the Nebraska football helmets?

A: Knowledge!


Q: What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan?

A: Anorexic.


Q: What do you call a Minnesota Viking with a Super Bowl ring?

A: A thief.


Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

A: "Give me my quarterback!"


Q: What's the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night


A: The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.


Q: Where do you go in Chicago in case of a tornado?

A: Soldier Field. They never get a touchdown there.


Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?

A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.


Q: How many Bills does it take to change a flat?

A: Only one, unless it's a blowout -- then the whole team shows.


Q: Why are football stadiums always cool?

A: Because they're full of fans.


Q: What's the difference between the Green Bay Packers and Cheerios?

A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.


Q: Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?

A: Out to pass-ture.


Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?

A: A huddle.


Q: Why do coaches like punters?

A: Because punters always put their best foot forward.


Q: What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 95?

A: Four guys watching a football game.


Q: What was Dallas's record in 1996?

A: 12 and 5, 12 arrests, 5 convictions.


Q: What do the Green Bay Packers and The Los Angeles Police Department

have in common?

A: Neither can stop a Bronco!


Q: What football player should you be suspicious of?

A: The quarterback sneak.


Q: Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?

A: The wide receiver.


Q: What do you call a lineman's kids?

A: Chips off the old blocker.


Q: How do you tear an American male away from his new date?

A: Turn on a football game on the TV.


Q: Who is Dallas's new defensive coordinator?

A: Johnny Cochran


Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car. Who's driving?

A: The police.


Q: Why does John Elway eat his cereal from a plate?

A: Because he's lost all three of his bowls.


Q: Which football team cooks gourmet meals together?

A: The Kansas City Chefs.


Q: Why are the Dallas Cowboys like Hillary Clinton?

A: Both have Bills to push around.


Q: Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

A: He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.


Q: What's the difference between a Buffalo Bill and a dollar bill?

A: You can get four good quarters from a dollar bill


Q: What should you put in the end zone to keep the other team away?

A: A scorecrow.


Q: What does your teacher call if you run your sentences together and never use periods or commas?

A: Illegal use of ands.


Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp?

A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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